Down Syndrome Myths and Facts
I get emails or phone calls very often from families who have a new diagnosis of T21. Sometimes it is their friends or relatives who make the first contact. Then soon, the parents are emailing or calling. This has brought me a unique perspective of the entire process of receiving the news of Trisomy 21, Down syndrome, in utero. I would love to share some of the things that are said to me, and clear up any confusion.
Myth #1:
My child will die young, as individuals with Down syndrome do not live longer than the mid 20′s
Reality: This is simply not true. Individuals are living well into their 50′s and even longer, now that proper medical care is being given to treat heart or other life threatening conditions. Many individuals are capable of employment, living independently, and enjoy many hobbies and activites. See our T21 individuals in the news.
Myth #2:
Your child will suffer.
Reality: Again, this could not be further from the truth. Many people in the world require corrective surgery. If your child needs surgery for any reason, the medical care given to individuals with Ds is wonderful. You can expect your child to do beautifully, and continue to thrive. While as many as 30-50% my have a heart condition, only approximately 5% will require open heart. The care of that 5%, by qualified pediatric cardiologists, is remarkable. The remaining 25-45% will have other less invasive procedures, or just be monitored. The cardiac care these days is absolutely amazing!! All other corrective surgery is also incredible. Any medical conditions can be treated today, unlike years ago when treatment was unknown. With proper medical care, individuals go on to live happy and wonderful lives!
Myth #3:
The physicians have told me that my child’s Down syndrome is worse than other cases.
Reality: This is simply impossible to tell in utero. Or even right at birth for that matter. Even children with many surgical needs have gone on to do amazing things. Karen Gaffney is an amazing example of an individual who needed much corrective surgery, and has gone on to do amazing things. She is not unique, this happens all over the world. I have met soo many families who have seen their family member through medical care, and the individual goes on to do beautifully in every way.
Myth #4:
The physicians have told me my child has a mild case of Down syndrome.
Reality: While there are many different abilities for individuals with Down syndrome, a physican can not tell in utero or at birth, how a child will fare. Most instances where an individual has a more difficult time learning or behaving, is indication of a dual diagnosis. Typical children have this exact possiblity. If a child needs corrective surgery, that does notmean they will have severe developmental delays. Individuals with Down syndrome benefit from loving homes, early intervention, inclusive education, appropriate medical care and positive public attitudes.
Myth #5:
Your chances of having a child with Down syndrome increases greatly after age 35.
Reality: Yes, indeed your chances increase. But let’s discuss the word greatly. When we see the estimated rates in the books, you may see that at age 20 it is 1/1231. At age 25 it is1/887. At age 30 it is 1/685. At age 35 it is 1/274. And finally at age 40 it is 1/78. So, yes, your chance does increase with age. And boy, when you put it that way, it sure does look like it increases greatly. However, if you were to look at these numbers in percentages, they look a little more interesting. Age 20: .08%. Age 30: .15%. Age 35: .36%. Age 40: 1%. So as one physician said to us, “Leave the guilt at the door”, because at age 39, our estimated risk was 1/100. That means there was a 1% chance of having a child with Down syndrome. That means we had a 99% chance of not having a child with Down syndrome. He went on to add, “Who would think to not have a child if you have a 99% chance of this not happening?” Now, to set the record straight, this was the way he put it. We say, ”Wow, what a miracle. We had a 99% chance of not having this gift from God. Whew, that was close!” We don’t ever want to imagine what our life would be like with our our beautiful daughter. So indeed, the numbers do increase. However, when you look at it from a percentage view point, it sure makes this drastic rise, that many professionals talk about, seem pretty insignificant doesn’t it? You have a better chance of having other things happen to you. In fact, there are a lot of ailments we all have a greater chance of having than the chance of being blessed with a child with Down syndrome. One additional point to add to this; 80% of all children born with Ds are born to mothers 35 and under. Many think this happens only to older mothers, since there is an increase. However, as you can see, the great increase is not as great as is told, so with the decrease in women having children at older ages, this makes the number of children with Down syndrome being born more often to younger moms. Numbers are interesting aren’t they?
Myth #6:
Bringing a child who has Down syndrome into your family will be harmful to your other children.
Reality: Again, just not true! In fact it is just the opposite. Your other children actually have a higher chance of becoming more compassionate and accepting of other people. The benefits have been a best kept secret until Dr. Brian Skotko did a study on the affects of having a sibling with Down syndrome. Another unexpected blessing. Read here for more information. Dr. Brian Skotko’s study.
Myth #7:
There is a higher divorce rate for families who have a child with Down syndrome.
Reality: While divorce can happen in any family, the studies are actually showing it is currently lower in the families who have a member who happens to have Trisomy 21. Perhaps it has something to do with the many lessons they teach us about life.Click here to see more on this.
Myth #8:
This will ruin your life.
Reality: Continue down this page to see how this has affected the families who have chosen to write about their experiences. I am sure you will see that this has done anything but ruin their lives. It has indeed been a new journey for all of our families, and one that can require many graces at times. (Show me parenting that doesn’t need more at some times!) But ruining our lives… that is simply not happening! An extra chromosome is all it is. The fear of that, is much more paralyzing than the reality. Enjoy your pregnancy! Enjoy your baby!

hawa
what areas of life you believe an individual with down syndrome could benefit from
Tina
I have been a special Ed teaching assistant for over 20 years. Down’s kids are a joy and a gift from God. I never, ever have a bad day in the classroom. (My other family) Waiting to see what my little darlings will come up with next. They truly make my life fullfilled and touch my heart each and every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Susan Bailey
Could you please send me some stratigies you use in the classroom that have been successful?
Gemma Hudson
Having a child with down syndrome has only been a blessing for me and my family. She was the first born into our families with a “disability”.
My greatest fear was that she would be picked on all of her life and would have a horrible childhood and be unhappy. But that was the farthest from the truth that it could have been. She is so happy, the kids in our neighborhood and her school love her. She’s always so positive it’s uplifting to us all. She’s so fun and full of pure love. It’s gotten to the point that I rarely consider that she has a thing called down syndrome. She’s just one of the family. One we could never dream of living without.
nichole
why do people make fun of people with down syndrome they are the nicest people in the world they are so out going and care free there the best people in the world
makenzie
does down syndrome get better or worse?
Justin
You can’t really look at Down syndrome getting better or worse — you need to look at it from the perspective of helping a person with Down syndrome become the best they can be. Just as you would with any child, the real goal is to help in any way you can to maximize their abilities. Good luck to you and yours.
Mackenzie Bartsch
Down syndrome was my biggest blessing. My little sister, 10, and I, 18, are the best friends you will ever see. I can think about how much I love her and my heart feels like it’s going to burst, my eyes tear up, and I feel so happy. If you’re a mother who’s pregnant with a child with Down syndrome, please don’t be discouraged. It may be hard at first, learning what your baby can or cannot do. Every baby has a different level of functioning, some high to normal, others extremely low. It’s true that it can be a bit of work, but once you learn what works for your baby, he or she will absorb knowledge like any other child. Speech and Occupational Therapy work miracles, as do love. Really, just love your child with Down syndrome, and that alone can move mountains. One of the greatest things I’ve notices from my time spent around people with Down syndrome is that they’re the most accepting, kind, and caring people I’ve ever met. It’s as if by gaining that extra 21st chromosome, they gain a bit more love than us. Sure, some people with DS may never learn certain skills, but they’ll always be a step ahead of us when it comes to loving others and treating everyone with respect. Down syndrome is a beautiful thing.
Farida
I lost my mind when came to know that my daughter has DS. Now she is the joy, beauty and strength in our family… we all look up to her, she is active, playful and learns so fast…
Pls. dont be discouraged… they are the LOVE itself.
jenny
I have a 6 year old who is DS we live in Ghana, in as much as he is such an adorable child.. sometimes it difficult to understand certain behaviours of his, but am thankful to God for such an experience! our challenge has been to get him a school to attend since he tends to be hyper.. He is my world!!!!!!!!!!
shilathapa
i have son with down syndrome and i run here in nepal ,day care center where people and children with down syndrome .in my it is very difficult work to give intervention for the people with down syndrome i faces lots of challenges but still thanks for your latest information from this information now i feel i can talk more about positive thing about down syndrome with our other new family member who have children with down syndrome .thank you so much .
Heidi
Shilathapa, hello! I have a son with DS here in the USA. I am on the board of a group that sponsors help for families and individuals with DS. Is ther anything that you need, or any encouragement we could give you? I was really scared when I learned that one of my twins had DS, but now (they are almost 2) he is the sweetest and usually funniest part of my day. Please email if we can help in any way.
cruzdelia p.
Hi I’m desperately seeking a friend I can talk too a times who can relate to me and hear word of advise
sehrish
dear hedi,
my child is down BY THE GRACE OF GOD he donot need any surgery his heart is perfectly ok.
he is one year old i want to know when your kid hold his neck when he starts sitting when he starts crawling and when he starts walking please let me know.
justin
Im not going to get sappy here but I do love my brother for who he is and would never want to change a thing about him, he is 10 and while he is loving to most he can really swing a good one on me and my dad since he knows he can getaway with it lol. everything he does is cute and sometimes its easy to forget that he actually has a disability at all. comparing him to other kids of his age rarely crosses my mind and I just see him as the little bratty brother that he is.Oh wait! That may have been just a little sappy…
Erin
My name is Erin and I am 24 years old. My brother, 21, is DS and we are extremely close. We are very blessed, as he was not born with any heart problems or any other health problems that required surgery, medication or treatment. Growing up with Conor was a joy, and I was lucky enough to have friends who adored him as well. Unfortunately, my father has been unable to come to terms with having a special needs son (even after 21 years) and is now leaving us. It is now up to my mother (who now must work full-time to support herself) and I to care for him, which has left me limited options in terms of finishing graduate school and finding a career. Returning to my tiny hometown is not something I want to do. This has been a very difficult time for my family and I was wondering if there are any support groups/ DS advocates out there in the Portland, OR area? I have never met anyone else with a DS sibling and it would be nice to connect. Thank you for any info, guys!
Kate
Hi Erin, I’m 25, with a 24 year-old brother who has ds. He is absolutely one of my favorite people in the world, and I know I am a better person for having grown up with him. However, my family was not without it’s problems in dealing with having a special needs child, and my parents eventually divorced when I was in high school. I live on the east coast, but I would be happy to talk to you if you’d like. -K
ROZ
I have 4 year old twins, one with ds and I couldn’t possibly love them any more than I already do. After reading the comments, I had tears in my eyes. It is always such a joy to read how much love and joy that other families experience with having a child with ds. To those who are struggling with having a child with special needs, know that there are support groups in just about every area(I live in Michigan), just reach out to them. God Bless.
Leigh Ann
Loved your comment, I live in mi as well and my little guy is 3!
cruzdelia p.
Hi Im 23 yrs old and have a son with down syndrome. I was 19 when I had him and things were very hard to understand. I love him with all my heart and his my lil blessing I don’t really know anyone else that is in the same situation I’m in and I would like someone I can relate and talk to when i need to someone who truly understand what I go through in good and bad….
kia
Hello. I had my son at 26 i am now 28 and he has ds. When i first was pregnant and found out He may have it i was filled with every emotion you can imagine. My son was born with a heart defect and stayed in the hospital for one month after his birth. He came home with a feeding tube 2 unrepaired holes in his heart with a lot of heart meds. he then caught phunemonia at 6 months and had a very long life treatening 7 months in 3 different hospitals. He had his holes repaired last year in march and has been home for a year. We love him very much and wouldnt trade that experience for anything. He currently is still tube fed and is on oxygen when he is asleep but hopefully we can get him off of that soon. He isnt walking or crawling yet because of the delay and the hospital stay delayed him even more. he was in a medical indused coma so he pretty much lost 7 months of his life. and he currently gets physical therpy and speech to get him on track. thats my story : )
Justin
Thank you for sharing!
Hortense
I have a son with DS. He is 51 years old. What is the usual life span of these guys these days?
Dona West
Go on line and check The site for Dr. Jane Schultz. She and her son Billy have a book and CD, and do a presentation about their lives dealing with DS, Billy is 56 and healthy, he says he takes care of his mom.
I have a cousin that is one week younger than me and she sends me funny birthday cards letting me know that I am older. I am 63, she lives in assisted living, helping her Mom.
Morgan
wow!! what a blessing to be able to have him for soo long:)
Anna Hanson
Unlike most teenagers growing up and changing into the adults they will become and deciding on jobs like police offers and super models…only to name a few of choices in that range. All my life, I have always wanted to be a best-seller writer and have something that I am proud of be published and read the reviews from the people who read it. Except it was almost recently that something clicked in my mind, instead of a picture of me signing autographs to crazed fans, there was a completely different picture that came into focus and it was that of a class-room full of children with DS sitting in a circle listening to me while I read them a picture book. And that picture no matter how sappy it might sound turns out to be my dream job. I want to help these special people however I need lots and lots of advice, tips and suggestions.
Dona West
I am a Special Education of 34 years. I workded in the first class of children with Sever/Profound disabilities. I had been an art teacher and the opportunity came to help develop this classroom. It has been my delight all these years. I have had children with all kinds of disabilities, and I always said “surprise me, I love it”. I alwasy ahve at least one child with DS in the room. now that I am older I am only teaching K-2, and I have 4 of 8 children with DS. What a hoot! I feel lucky each morning to be able to work with these children. There is never a dull moment. they are sweet, mean, stinkers, delightful, frustraiting, and hilarous! I leave each day laughing, I try to make the day so that they leave laughing also. I ahve enough to write volumns of joyful anecdotes. I tell parents that I think they are from another planet and left the directions behind. It is our job to figure out the way to help them live a good, happy and productive life on this one.
I am tickled each day and blessed to have worked so many years and that they actually pay me to have this much fun!
Alyssa
My son is a set of twins. His twin brother does not have DS. (This is rare) (not sure on #s tho) I was 17 when he was conceived, 18 when gave birth. I had less then the .08% chance as a 20 year old would have. I was the youngest mom in IA at the time to have a child with DS. I did know about his heart condition in utero and it was the scariest thing to think about at the time. When he was born, and I received the news of his Down Syndrome, I lost it, but then my mind went to his heart, he was my child and I didn’t care, I just wanted his heart fixed and for my baby to be healthy. He was the 5% to have open heart, he also developed a blood clot in his leg during a test pre op. (which he had a 5% chance of getting) How’s that for numbers. lol It’s crazy to think about some days. Here’s some more numbers though.
It’s normal for a child with DS to not crawl until around 18-2 yrs of age, he crawled at 12 months. It’s common for a child with DS to walk around 3-4. He walked at 18 months. Now at the age of 3 1/2 he’s learning to jump like his twin, can do a summersalt, knows over 30 words in asl, goes to pre school, is starting to get potty trained, is learning to ride a trisicle, said “I love you” for the first time last night, knows the words and motions to over 15 sing along songs, teases his brother and touches hearts of every single person he meets or comes upon. HE IS MY ANGEL. These kids are a true blessing. No matter what numbers or statistics are out there, the one true statisitic is that have T21 is a blessing and a love beyond anything imaginable.