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Hi Diana,

These are such difficult questions and of course they are different for every family. We are going to let our kids just evolve and when they seem like they are figuring out that something is a little different, we will just matter of factly let them know that their brother has a condition called down syndrome but it does not change the person that they already know and love. Of course, we have a little bit of a different situation given that Teddy is the oldest (5) and his two brothers are younger. But my three year old already knows that something is a bit different but it makes no difference to him whatsoever.

I think your 12 and 10 year old should probably be told..They are mature and they will be a great help to you going forward. The same may be true for your three year old but he may be a little young to understand.

I do strongly believe though that it won’t have any impact on how they love and embrace their new brother.

I wish you the best of luck. Please come back and let us know how your wonderful son is doing.

Justin

My son, Jeff, was almost 10 when Jenny was born…he was told the day after Jenny was born. My son, Kenneth, was only 14 months old but he has known since he was 2 or 3…a little bit more each year. Kenneth is only now (at 11) truly realizing the differences between himself and Jenny…hard sometimes for him to deal with, but he too joins in being amazed at the things his sister is learning to do. Both boys have been extremely supportive for their sister and have helped her learn things that most doctors wouldn’t have expected from her.