Special Needs IEP Tips
The special education advisory council posted the following advice on how to “deal” with your child’s IEP. Their advice is invaluable. More information can be found on their website here.
Preparation is a must!
If it’s a MET meeting, you need the evaluation to review. Request to meet with the psych beforehand if need be. Don’t try to do the IEP in the same meeting as the MET; it’s too much. Ask to see the goals and a draft beforehand so you aren’t rushed to read through it on the spot.
Make a wish list
Don’t go in with too many little things, it will distract everyone and tie up too much time on small points. Go in with your big list of 5. Don’t get sidetracked. Stick to the points.
Look ahead
If there is a possible conflicting view on services or placement and you think there will be opposition, do your research. Find studies or research to back your views as well as data on your own child that proves your point. This can include home video, work samples from home or anything you think may convey your viewpoint.
Bring treats
Yes, bring treats. Whether you agree with everyone or think they are doing a good job, most likely people are trying very hard and want what’s best for your child. By bringing something, you set the tone for a friendly meeting and show some gratitude for their work (or the work they will be doing!)
Include your child
Depending on age or severity of disability, the child should somehow be included. If they are young or content is inappropriate they can come in the beginning and say hi. Have them bake cookies for the meeting or take video to show that includes an interview. Put a picture in the middle of the table everyone can all remember that it’s the child and what they need- not individual positions.
Regroup when needed
Bring something to sip on when you’re getting upset and need to pause. Leave the room to regain composure if you are getting really upset to gain some clarity. It’s better than saying something harmful. The team will wait.
Take your time
You are only signing that you are in attendance. This is a working document. Hopefully, your relationship and participation will continue throughout the year. This document can be amended or tweaked at any time.
Make sure the “present level” is accurate
The present level in the IEP is the picture of where your child currently is. This drives the goals, which drives the services and placement. If you feel the picture that is being painted isn’t correct, explain why. Remember you don’t see your child at school and they don’t see them at your home. This is a time for both parties to get the whole picture of the child. You can include your own statement of the present level in the IEP. Definitely do this if there is a disagreement.
Learn the process
The more you know about the process, the more relaxed you will be. You will know what you can and can not do. You will know your rights and won’t feel so intimidated. You will be respected as an equal member of the team, not just an emotional parent.
Breathe and BE NICE
Honey catches more flies. Have confidence that you are the expert in your child and the team needs your help. And you need theirs. Your job is to help the team pull together all the parts. The experts all focus on their own specific area. You know the whole child, the big picture and where you think they can go. You don’t need to learn every little detail of every area of expertise in order to be effective. You just need to make sure everyone is one the same page so everyone can be successful.
Send thank you cards after and don’t disappear until next year. This is an ongoing process that needs work along the way. If you cultivate the team the whole year, the meeting will just be a formality and won’t be so scary.
judy lynn rysdam
Thank you that will be helpful since school is getting ready to start.
Catherine DaCosta
I have to say, this is not true. In the school I am working in (I am the speech therapist), we fight for what is best for the child. If the school and the parents do not agree on a decision, we do our best to find a compromise that will work for everyone. And the parent does have the final say. I am sorry you’ve been burned.
daniele
You know, doesn’t matter how prepare you are or how many advocates you can take, the IEP team will always do what they want. They will let you speak,show videos, make inputs, cry and whatever, but in the end they will stick with their choices doesn’t matter what the IDEA law says.
Don’t think I am negative, I am just realistic.
Terri
I have found that the IEP meeting is only as good as the attending parent. As parents it is important to remember that we are our childs best advocate.
By putting out the neccessary effort, and follow through, my son’s IEP is a direct results of what he needs, not what the district is offering. There is something to be said for being pushy.
Yearly i have to go to the school and ask each of his teachers if they are aware of the IEP. Each year they say no. If you wait for the district to step up to the plate you will have a long wait. The schools are not as willing as they would like us to believe, and most teachers do not have any training on working with special needs chilren…
So as a parent of a special needs child, follow through, do not be afraid to make waves. Do your homework, know your rights, and remember..most states have Advocates. For us this was a free resource, who went to meetings as well.
Good Luck! It will be fine!